Uxoricide
(Sleep Apnea X)
Have you fastened the gun
Between your fragile fist?
Come time for the pull
Are you expecting a mist
Can you see these eyes
Can you see how hard I try to carve you out
With the cold, dead nails nails you painted for me
Do you have an answer
Do you have a prayer?
…Just what I thought.
Now you’ll never see me again.
Look at how I fought for this world without your face
I enjoyed the taste of this utopia
Where your birth had never shined
Chew upon the barrel, drink up all the fire
I’ll watch you cry
And make sure you never dream again
We had nothing and you wanted it all
I’ll say it again…I never loved you.
Pull the curtains down on your show
So that every noght and every morn, I’ll wake to an emptiness
Six feet above you
This isn’t happening, this isn’t real…go away
I’ll turn this barrel to make this ghost fade
As the speeding death enters your head, I freeze
And watch the red water drown your soul away…what have I done?
The Answer
(Sleep Apnea XI)
I have woken from this solitary dream
Dripping with pain
I was waiting for so long
For you to say…
But now I’m a mess
You grave carved in my name
Is this a jest
Please tell me it’s a sick game
It should be comforting to know
You’ll hibernate no more
When will I die to meet you on that final cloud
If I even make it there, won’t you kick me off nimbus
Wasn’t it you trying to destroy my mind
Psyche is bruised now that you’re nowhere in sight
My eyes have run dry
The water has flowed to its end
Will this barrel sting as bad, as the scorn you left with me
Isn’t that you mocking me?
This is the answer
So will you please let me die
On the grounds that you’ll live on
These are the last words
That will slip through my tongue
“I will always love you”
No matter how mad I went
From this bitter mess you made
My only eulogy
Is this effigy of me
You memory knows no man by my name
I was waiting for so long
For you to say
“I love you”
Now this bullet will erase this world from my mind
Now this bullet will erase my face from your world
Breath With A Missing Beat
(Sleep Apnea XII: The Finale)
Just so you’ll know…it was all a dream…
…all a dream….
…all a dream.
I am the one whom he cried for during his slumber
What I gave him for his plea…nothing…
…nothing.
A cry for forgiveness is all that he ask
What I gave him for his plea…nothing…
….nothing.
And now his eyes are forever closed, pupils never to be remembered….
What has he done for this…nothing…
….nothing.
It is in his dream where he’ll be bottled inside a flask
What has he done for this….nothing…
….nothing.
If the lions would feast on what they’ve been thrown
You must make the saliva fall
If the liars can speak down from the heavens
You must have a chance to make the next cloud
Breathe one more time, I know you can make it
Even with the holes in your arms for you life you had traded
I better feel a pulse
When my fingerprints wrap around your cables
Don’t leave me here alone
To turn off the lights
I must cry:
“Caretaker, heal this man
Fill him with cement and make him whole again
Save him from a future so dark
Border up the wounds where he made his mark”
He cries:
“you see him in a trance so fetal
don’t you see the trend
It was you who drove the needle
You drove him to his end”
Breathe one more time, I know you can make it
Even with the holes in your arms for your arms you had traded
I better feel a pulse
When my fingerprints wrap around you cables
Don’t leave me here alone
To turn off the lights
In your dreams, I hope solace swallows your soul
So you can fall into place without stall
If you see an end so peaceful
I will not cry at all
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