It seems whenever I wake up in the morning, I don't really care about anything. I don't care about school, I don't care about friends, I don't care about anything. It seems as though whenever I'm asleep, everything seems to be in their right place. I'm in my own world and don't care about anything else that's not in it. My own world is perfect. When I wake up, it's all basically taken away from me. Then reality kicks in again. And it upsets me to the point where I try to block it out for as long as I can before I completely wake up and realize I can't change any of my problems.
Another problem I have with slumber are naps. Due to the lack of sleep I tend to get while in college, I'll take a nap or two to try and make up for the loss of slumber. It's just that, whenever I do, I can't help but feel a sense of mal-accomplishment when I wake up. As though by taking a nap I've just thrown away a portion of my day. Today I took a nap and work up with the worst feeling of failure for no reason. My naps are growing increasingly longer, and my accomplishments are decreasing at an alarming rate. My relationships with different people are diminishing, my school work suffering an atrophy of quality, and everything else in life is just plain bleak. After today I've come to realize: Sleep is just a form of escaping the mundane life I seem to have created for my self.
There's nothing worth staying awake for anymore.
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