...Forever Hold Your Peace

After weeks of eye surgery and trying to figure out whether or not what you see is really what is there, you come out of surgery knowing full well what to expect. Then, as you're walking down the hall, someone takes a picture of you with a flashbulb thats apparently 100 watts. You're blind again and the world has distorted for the second time.

That's at least how things have been as of late. After a long time of nothing but torture, things were finally looking up for me....then something happened. My best friend, let's call him "Wilfred" for the sake of legality, decided to get married THIS Saturday to a girl he hasn't even know for a full year. Now, I understand people who love each other feel they're right for each other or whatever the fuck, but this is just way too soon. I can only hope that people reading this understand where I'm coming from.

He's only 18, still lives with his parents, is a freshman in college, she's NOT pregnant, and (like I stated before) they haven't known each other let alone been with each other for a full year.
I don't know how to feel:

I want to yell at him and scream at him about the incredibly stupid move he's about to make. I want to talk him out of this whole thing and try to understand WHY he would do this at such a young age with such haste. I want to beat him senseless so that, come Wedding day, he'll be too crippled to let the event commence.

At the same time, I want to congratulate him. I want to tell him "Good job on finding someone you truly love", I want to be proud of my friend for finally finding happiness in his life.

I want to shake his hand and give him a hug but at the same time I want to knee him in the balls for doing this.

I just don't know how to take this. I want to be mad....but I can't. I want to be happy....but I can't. I understand that I'm his best friend and we consider each other blood brothers. I understand that I have to respect his decision because that's the basis of a friendship...respect. It's just that this...this is too much.

These are the events in life I hate the most: the events where all you can do is sit back and hope for the best.

I once told another friend after some other incident that "I liked it better when you were just a ten minute walk away...". I said that after I realized there was nothing I could have done to help out this friend of mine. And that quote applies to what's going on now as well...

...I feel helpless.