Everyone And No One

When you find gold, you tend to forget about the ones that led you to the treasure itself.

Yes, my self esteem and overall view on life has bettered itself, but I feel there are people I've neglected over time. And I know that when I go back to those people, I'll neglect the ones I have now.

There's always a point in any friendship where you know for a fact that you are starting to drift apart:
Maybe it's when you talk to one another and there's no spark anymore.
Maybe it's when you look in their eyes and you know deep down you've done everything you can can do with one another.
Maybe it's knowing that your planned futures are too different to keep up with one another. Maybe it's getting a phone call that feels MUCH too formal to be the person you once knew.
Maybe it's ignoring a message left because you don't feel like responding right away or at all and you used to answer the second you saw or heard it.
Maybe it's just not caring whether or not they'll ever say "hi" to you again.
Maybe it's just not caring anymore.

I know I've let a lot of friendships end very unceremoniously over the years. Though there are some people I feel i'm drifting from that I absolutely can't let go of yet. These are the people that you always need that one last day with. That last day to see whether or not you really want to cut them loose from your life. That last day to see whether or not you are truly ready to part ways.
If that day ends and you feel as though there are still more to come, and the sparks still there, then you really have nothing to worry about. It's when the day ends, the morning comes, and the day preceding isn't even a blip in your mind ,that you start to worry about your friendship.
You can never understand why. You always think to yourself about the times you had with these people and how great things were and wonder how things ended up the way they did. You look back and try to pinpoint the exact moment you started drifting but you can never find it. It happens slowly over the course of time. It's like cancer. It just hits you and you can never figure out when until its too late. Things just drift and die.

I've let that happen too many times to let it happen again. I swore that the last person I drifted from would be the last. At this point I can only hope the spark isn't gone...in anyone. I can only hope that the good times had in days past come back to rear their heads one last time. No...not one last time. I hope that good times had in days past come back and never feel the need to leave.

All of my friends are too good for me and deserve better than for me to just neglect them like a used napkin.