Swan Song

I have been told a lot of things this year and I have refused to believe a lot more. There have been things people have told me that they perceived as plainly obvious but I have brushed off as false. Why? Because I believed they were false. I knew my perception was right yet theres was a little part of me that told me everyone else had the correct assumption. Whenever I'm right, I feel a fit of joy, a sort of euphoria form being correct and proving many others wrong. But when I'm wrong, I never know how to feel. I should be miffed because I was proven wrong, but at the same time I feel a sort of relief that I no longer need to hide from the truth anymore.
Last night I had a dream. Within the dream I had felt betrayed and mortified form the actions that had taken place, when in reality, in the conscious world I wouldn't show so much as a cringe to the event. Within the dream I threw the biggest fit. I threw things around and destroyed things I thought meant a lot to me. I had just felt betrayed. But I shouldn't. It would have had nothing to do with me in this world. Through that dream I realized that everyone was right about me when it came to things I didn't even know I was hiding. I know why I threw the fit. I know why I felt so offended. I care...I care a lot...I care so much. Everything makes sense now. Everyone was right to judge me.

To judge me and the other.


This was the 30th blog entry and will be the last post of the year. Until January 14th, "If you read...you'll Judge" will be on hiatus. I will not stop writing possible blog entries, so when I finally return from the holidays, I'll be able to post things rapid fire. But I need a break from servitude. These blogs are therapeutic, yet routine. I hope you enjoyed the "Deciduous Wing" saga. I'm currently working on a new, longer, more meaningful story based on current events I have found myself in the middle of. I'll probably do it in regular vernacular rather than poetry form to get the point across much more clearly. But maybe I transfer it into poetry form If im up to it. As of now, I've called it "Sleep Apnea". All I'm divulging at the moment is that it involves a comatose patient and her husband. Not to mention I've already began a third story that I'll probably work on after "Sleep Apnea" that is based on the dream from yesterday. But thats not until a few months from now.
Next year will be a whole new year....new beginnings. 'Till then, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Years.

Goodbye December.